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<title>dancing with our hands tied by keylimedye (mozartkugel)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139970">dancing with our hands tied</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozartkugel/pseuds/keylimedye'>keylimedye (mozartkugel)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>AFTER LIFE 소원을 담는 만화경 | AFTER LIFE: The Sacred Kaleidoscope (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Closeted Character, M/M, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:34:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozartkugel/pseuds/keylimedye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sian is an up-and-coming musician with a secret that he desperately wants to keep.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Manager/Sian (AFTER LIFE: The Sacred Kaleidoscope), Reader/Sian (AFTER LIFE: The Sacred Kaleidoscope)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. we rule the kingdom inside my room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I wish we could stay like this forever,” he says one day as you’re curled up together in his bed, your own sacred oasis, free from prying eyes and gossiping tongues.</p><p>“What’s stopping us?” you respond playfully, tracing a finger along his cheek, pressing a kiss in its trail. You don’t miss his small, almost imperceptible intake of breath, which brings a smile to your face. It’s rare to see Sian like this, so relaxed, his guard completely let down. “I know, Sian, your adoring fans demand your presence.”</p><p>Despite the tender mood, you cannot help but feel a tang of bitterness at the back of your throat. You keep your tone as light as possible, trying to pass off the jab as a joke. You aren’t sure that you’re completely successful.</p><p>You immediately regret saying anything when you see him frown, creases marring the smooth skin of his forehead.</p><p>“I know, I know. I hate it too. Sometimes, I wish that…” He trails off, unable to finish the thought. What would he even finish it with? That he wasn’t so famous?</p><p>No, he knows exactly what he wishes: that you and he could be freely yourselves, without the hiding, the sneaking around, the secrecy. In the tabloids, he’s a playboy, a different woman on his arm every month. Little does the public know that this is the opposite of everything that Sian is.</p><p>After all, it’s easy to spin a story, easy to sit at a cafe patio, making friendly, but distant, conversation with whichever mildly famous actress his public relations team has chosen for him to be seen with, while photographers take far-too-clear pictures just a short distance away. One short walk around the park with someone he barely knows is enough to keep the media buzzing for weeks.</p><p>And if there are pictures of it in the magazines, then it definitely happened, right?</p><p>But he knows this is the price of fame, of being able to sing and dance in front of crowded audiences, to do what he loves most in the world. He knew that this path would never be easy, but he couldn’t have anticipated just how dearly he and his loved ones would suffer due to his choices.</p><p>He knows how it affects you, how much you wish to scream to the heavens about your love. It should be celebrated, what you two have. Instead, you get secret midnight dates, sneaking in through your back door in the dead of night, when no one else is around to witness it. Instead, you get to insist time and time again that you and he are simply “best friends,” inseparable, but nothing more than that. Even a friendly gesture deemed too intimate by the paparazzi could prove disastrous for his reputation.</p><p>And in this career, reputation is all he has.</p><p>He knows what he has to offer you is poor in comparison to the obstacles you face, but it’s all for the hope that one day, he will have the courage to tell the world who he really is. However, he desperately hopes you’ll stay, despite the difficulties that come with being with him, despite the hardships and heartbreaks. <i>Stay,</i> he silently prays. <i>Stay and I’ll make this worth it. I promise.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You and Sian meet at a party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You first meet him at a Christmas party, and you think he is the most beautiful boy you have ever seen. So beautiful that you have a hard time looking directly at him, only able to give him sidelong glances when you know he isn’t looking. You hold back, try to stay focused on the conversation you are currently part of. Luckily, two of your friends are engaged in a heated, but friendly debate, and largely ignore you in favour of discussing the finer points of co-op farming.</p><p>If only you were more interested in ethically-grown vegetables.</p><p>As for Sian, he stays at the outer edges of the party, away from the majority of the noise and crowd. From there, his vantage point also  His outer aloofness does not betray the heart-pounding anxiety. He’s drawn to you, but at the same time, his instincts are screaming to run, run as far away as he can.</p><p>Neither of you end up speaking at this party.</p><p>The next time you see him is only a week later, a New Year’s party this time. The alcohol humming in your blood gives you courage, and you ditch your friends to approach him with a coy smile and a fliratious wink.</p><p>From that moment on, Sian is completely gone, sinking and drowning in the depths of your eyes.</p><p>He’s reluctant to answer your questions - his name, his job, his friends, what he likes to do in his spare time. If not for the bright flush in his cheeks, you would think he saw you as a bother. Still, you manage to gently pry the information from him, your eyes bright and dancing with thrill of getting to know someone so fascinating. After all, if he truly wished to avoid you, he could easily extract himself from the conversation, get himself lost in the rest of the party.</p><p>Instead, he stays beside you.</p><p>It turns out he’s a singer, though not in a genre you typically listen to. But he’s famous enough that you’ve heard his songs on the radio, and in addition to being wildly, wildly attracted to him, you’re starstruck as well.</p><p>You’re abruptly brought back to the real world when one of his friends approaches from behind, clapping Sian on the back.</p><p>“Hey, is this where you’ve been all this time? C’mon, you’re going to miss the countdown!”</p><p>“Oh. All right.” He turns to you, the warmth of familiarity gone from his voice. “It was nice meeting you,” he says carefully, his voice measured.</p><p>You don’t miss the lingering glance he gives you as he’s led away, and you tuck it away safely in the folds of your memory, a secret only between you and him.</p><p>You still think he is the most beautiful boy you have ever seen, and little do you know, he thinks the same of you too.</p>
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